we r rarely taken by suprise when a relationship fails. i tink we sense the end is coming, n afterward we're only astonished by how much we choose not 2 see. i guess dat's bcz we want love to last,so we find ways not to look directly at the signs dat say there's trouble ahead. n da result is dat we dun try to save tings until its too late.
wut r da words, da looks, da action, dat say a man is uneasy and unhappy about da turn a relationship is taking? how cn a women noe dat his love is on the wane?
i'll ask question like "do u love me?" when what im really asking is "do i love u?" i also start thinking about other women. a man who asks his girlfren, "do u ever tink about having an affair?" is probably asking so dat he cn feel ok about wanting to have one himself. i may make jokes about it, just to see if (and how heartily) u laugh. n after ive thought about it.i flirt.
everybody flirts a little bit, but flirting takes on a diff dimension when it comes at d end of a relationship.at dis point, a man is doing it to test the waters, if not actually to ready da lifeboat. he wants to know dat sumone besides u thinks he's attractive. n he'll do it right in front of u, just to see how jealous u bcome. in a sense,a man wants u to call him bck. if he really wanted to have an affair with sumone,he'd hide it.
if after asking all da question and making all da provocations,im still not getting da right response from a woman and if she still doesn't feel its necessary to talk about where we're headed, then indifference becomes da enemy. i quit. i stop using pet names. i stop trying to come up with tings to do.i will leave space for her,nite open, but if she doesn't want to fill it, i'll do what i want-see movies alone dat she wants to see.
invariably,i'll emphasise da distinction between my frens n her frens, spending more time with the former n avoiding da latter,since i know dat one going 2 b my support group n d other is going 2 b my enemy. if she cancels a date on me,i'll be real understanding,because wut diff does it make? i'll pick fights,because im frustrted dat dis tings is happening, but they wont last long. im just waiting for da scene to play itself out.
and while im waiting,i'll stay out until all hours, drink too much,stop making da bed,not buy toilet paper when we've run out, all da while hoping she'll get fed up one day n call da whole tings off herself so i wont feel guilty or responsible.
its not dat we didn't both see it was happening. we had fair warning. perhaps its just dat people always tell themselves dat love will find a way. maybe dats da 1st sign to heed. if u think dat love will watch over u,n take care of things when da relationship begins to go sour,dats when its time to watch out
